The Human Therapist
Hi my therapist friend, can I ask you a question? Have you ever conducted a session and 100%
related to your client situation?
I don’t know about you, but I have experienced that. It’s a mix between the feeling of
uncomfortable yet comforting. Why uncomfortable you may ask? It seems as though when “us”
therapists graduate and start to work in our field, every other title we have seems to be dismissed.
It becomes a challenge to separate the therapist in us, from our role as parents, friends, spouses,
etc.
Why is that? Is it easier to be a therapist in all aspects of our lives? Rather than embracing the
fact that we too are human, make mistakes, and experience the same challenges as everyone
else? If I must say, I do not believe that we neglect our own challenges and hardships on purpose
but we start to be a part of the “therapist should be perfect or well-balanced belief cycle.”
That belief cycle can be very damaging to us. We are constantly holding spaces for individuals
even when we are struggling to keep our own cup full. Some days it may even be hard to keep a
smile on our face, but we do it because we truly care. We often preach self-care, but struggle
when it comes time to practice it.
It’s hard finding balance to care for ourselves while caring for others. Viewing from the outside
in, others may think therapists are not supposed to put themselves first. I guess self-care seems
selfish when it comes to therapists.
I have learned that if I do not take care of my personal needs, I am not only a disservice to
myself but also to my clients. In order for our clients to benefit, we must also engage in
emotional, mental, and physical self-care.
Our title as therapists does not make us invincible to breakups, losses, trauma, hard days,
tiredness, sadness, anger, etc. We are human before anything else. We choose to help people
heal, not to self-neglect.
I remember once, I caught strep throat which led to me having to cancel all of my sessions for a
week. A client expressed to me “I’m sorry you are sick but that is too long of a time to go
without a session.” Therapists are often expected to not get sick, not prioritize their families or
themselves. I remember feeling so upset, as I sat there struggling with a fever and other pains.
Then I told myself, “It’s not that my client doesn’t care for me. It’s that they really need my
services through their hardship.” The anger I felt started to subside as I started to ask myself,
“How can my client respect my self-care, if I myself fail to prioritize it?” I would constantly
push myself to work through sickness and hardships. My clients saw that, which became the
norm for them.
This experience showed me, if I do not prioritize my physical, emotional, or mental health, no
one else will. Me wanting to help others, does not mean avoiding to help myself. Behind my
title, I am still me. Taking care of myself only ensures my clients receive the most beneficial
services.
It is natural to take that well needed day off, it is natural to be there for your sick child/family
member, it is natural to need a sick day/week, it is natural to not be “ok” and it is natural to take
that well deserved vacation. Maintaining our self-care routines does not make you any less of a
therapist, if anything, it makes you an amazing therapist. Not only do our clients deserve us at
our happiest and healthiest, but so do we. Keeping our cup full is a must which includes finding
the balance you deserve.
My therapist friend, I wanted to highlight you in a world that often dims you. You deserve
nurturing, love, feeling emotions, hard days, mistakes, and to be human. You are not perfect, and
that is ok because you are worthy of your needs and desires. I see you and the challenges you
often dismiss for the comfort of others. To my fellow human therapist, may you hide no longer,
for you too belong.